I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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