The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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