i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
