I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
