If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
