It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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