I'm eating all of the evidence.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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