Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
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Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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