you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
