If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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