I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
