I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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