I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
