Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
