Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I AM VODKA MAN
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Randomize