your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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