She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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