you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You ate ashes out of my bong
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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