I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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