I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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