I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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