Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
