Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Vodka?
Forever.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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