I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
