Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
