i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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