You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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