I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
