My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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