It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Randomize
