Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
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I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
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Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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