you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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