It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
