i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
