i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
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Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
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I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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