she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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