I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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