That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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