YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
