omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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