toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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