I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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