8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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