Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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