My first STD was from a foam party
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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