so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
The ass gains better be worth it
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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