I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
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I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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