Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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