i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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