Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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