Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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