after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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