Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
