Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
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those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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