Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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