Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
