now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in itâ€
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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