Welp...herpes.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
