I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
