all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
