and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Randomize
