...so i touched it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
