Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
